


the fire you started in me

by sapphictomaz



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Death, Family, Multi, Season/Series 05 Finale Speculation, kind of, spacekru, written before the finale aires so if im somewhat right then idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 02:21:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15451263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictomaz/pseuds/sapphictomaz
Summary: murphy's one of the first victims of the war for the valley. this is how it ends.title from "watch" by billie eilish.





	the fire you started in me

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know i have a wip but this just wouldn't leave my mind until i wrote it down

he’s one of the first to go down.

murphy’s group, led by diyoza and kane, wait at the edge of the trees. echo’s taken her place near the head of the group. she’s watching the valley as a hawk does - waiting, watching, daring their enemies to make a move.

raven’s moving her way up the line. her bad leg drags behind her, trailing a line in the light layer of snow. she stops when she reaches a spot directly on his left. his eyes move to her hands, her belt, her brace - she’s unarmed.

emori’s taken stance on his right side. her eyes, stony as they were when they first met years ago, remain trained on the front of the line. they don’t know what they’re doing. they don’t know what to expect when echo gives the signal. yet - emori, she’s - she’s loyal to the end, ready to die, ready to - he doesn’t really know the answer to that anymore. he does know, though, that she did not choose her spot on accident.

there is a gun hanging over his shoulder. it drapes all the way down his back, a weight that’s pushing him into the snow. it’s tempting to give into it and lie there, a still life of a snow angel yet to spread his wings.

he takes the gun off his back and silently hands it to raven, noticeably looking at her leg. “you can’t come down with us, anyways,” he whispers.

she doesn’t like to hear it, but his words ring true. “you still need a gun, murphy.” she doesn’t look at him as she brings the massive weapon in front of her, admiring it’s capabilities and setting up a shot angle.

“eh...i’ve done just fine without one this far.”

emori won’t admit it, but she smiles.

soon, wonkru will charge over that distant hill with a mighty roar, led by octavia, the blood queen with fire lighting up her brown eyes. she’ll lead her people into the valley and spacekru will join them, and the valley will be theirs.

bellamy’s down there with them, probably with clarke and monty and harper, but that’s not - he can’t think about that, not now.

echo raises a fist, a signal for them to get ready. “are we fighting with octavia? or just against mccreary?”

“does it matter?” raven answers, and no, it doesn’t, because echo lowers her arm and that’s the signal and then he’s running.

he doesn’t even have a rock in his hand this time.

they’re out in the open, now, guns up, but wonkru is nowhere to be found. “they’re supposed to be here, aren’t they?” emori says, lowering her weapon.

the valley is silent all around them. “wonkru should have  _ been _ here already,” echo says. “i don’t understand…”

“where is everyone?” murphy says, and then the world turns and oh,  _ there’s _ everyone.

mccreary’s men come running out of the shadows and charge into a brutal assault. “ _ run!” _ echo screams, because this is not a war they can win without octavia’s army, no matter how they feel about her.

this is not a war any of them agreed on.

emori’s firing, covering their exit, but then her gun sticks and she’s just as unarmed as the rest of them. raven’s somewhere up the hill, firing periodic energy blasts into the foray, but they’re too tightly packed and she can’t get clean shots. 

the bullet hits him in the chest.

murphy stumbles, but the adrenaline is forces him onwards. if emori’s noticed, she doesn’t say anything, instead grabbing his shoulder and pulling him with her back up the mountain. 

together, they retreat.

_ this plan was stupid this plan was a waste of time what are we doing here what am i doing here -  _

they retreat.

they make it back to where raven’s situated and emori helps her up, now pulling them both along with her. echo bursts out from the trees, face bloody, none of it her own. 

they find their way back to the cave they came from and stop to collect themselves. raven, emori, echo, shaw, they’re all there but - 

“kane and diyoza sold us out,” echo says. “they’re both not here.”

and it’s true, and it makes sense, but it also makes the least sense of anything.

_ why am i here? _

_ what’s the point of all this? _

_ what am i doing -  _

“murphy?”

emori’s asked him a question, now raven’s edging towards him. only now does he remember the gargantuan opening the bullet tore in his chest.

“i’m fine,” he tries to say, but then his cheek hits the cave floor, hard. he stares outside at the snow, at the red droplets that followed him in here. he wonders if those are his wings.

*  * *  * * *

later, he’ll wake, partially thanks his own stubbornness, but mostly thanks to the cloth emori’s tied around the wound. one of the wrappings, he notices, comes from her own bandana. 

“it’s not much,” she says. “but clarke’s not here.”

“she’s also with mccreary,” a new voice says. it’s - bellamy?

“thought you were with the blood queen,” murphy chokes out.

“thought you were dead,” he gets in return, and well. he can’t really argue with that.

“it’s good to see you.”

“you too, murphy. you, too.”

bellamy sits next to him and tells him what he’s missed - apparently, another batch of mccreary’s men attacked wonkru’s army, stalling them and causing them to arrive later. “we were stupid not to split our groups up, to try different routes.”

“diyoza and kane…”

“sold us out, yeah. i don’t know much more than that. i don’t...i don’t know why.”

it’s obvious that’s not the only thing that bellamy doesn’t know. 

“wonkru...octavia. where are they?”

“just a little ways away.”

“but you…”

“i’m with my family.”

and, well, huh.

echo comes over to join them and embraces bellamy for several seconds, allowing cracks of vulnerability to show before she sits stoically. emori and raven are not far behind.

“octavia’s planning a full on assault,” echo reports. “it’s not going to work. they’re too well informed, too organized.”

bellamy risks a smile. “it sounds like you have a better plan.”

echo looks him in the eyes, daring to join the delight. “i do. but...it requires...one moment.”

she gets up and quickly returns, holding the massive gun murphy had gifted raven earlier. “raven,” she says, “this weapon uses...energy?”

“yeah.”

“could this energy be turned into something...else?”

silence, then - “are you asking me to build a bomb?”

“...yes.”

raven adjusts herself into a comfortable position, then studies the weapon for several seconds. “i think i can do that. what are you planning with it?”

“a full on assault will destroy the valley entirely, and result in numerous casualties on both sides.”

“we may not even win,” emori adds, and echo nods grimly.

“exactly. the valley will be destroyed no matter what action is taken, but mccreary’s army needs to be neutralized. therefore…”

raven sucks in a breath. “we nuke the valley, killing the army, and taking the valley with it.”

“it will save our lives, as well as wonkru. i can think of no better way.”

emori turns to bellamy. “can you convince octavia to-”

“believe me, i’ve already tried.”

“then...okay.”

“i can make this into a bomb,” raven says, “but someone will still have to be there to fire it. it’ll only get one shot, two max. firing from a distance might not be effective enough.”

“so someone has to go in there sacrifice themselves?” bellamy says. “forget it, then. we’ll have to find another way.”

and, well - 

_ am i supposed to be here? _

_ is this what i’m supposed to be doing? _

murphy starts to speak, then coughs, then starts again. “you need a sacrifice...send in the man who’s already dead.”

silence. 

“you’re not going to die, murphy.”

weakly and with a shaking hand, he moves a cloth piece out of the way and takes it in his hand. then he lies there, silent, watching four pairs of eyes entranced at the jagged, black, infected lines running from the wound. 

emori’s bandana, though, he holds tightly in his hand.

*  * *  * * *

bellamy supports his left side, emori supports his right. shaw helps raven and echo leads the way and together, they slowly make their way down the hill. 

octavia has no idea what’s about to happen. it’s probably better that way.

they walk together in silence, six lines trailing behind them in the light layer of snow. emori’s bandana is still in his hand. he should give it back to her, but -

he won’t.

they reach the base, soon, as far as they can get without leaving cover. “you don’t have to do this, murphy, it’s…”

“i’m dying, bellamy,” he says. he can feel it, in a way he can’t explain. the colours of the world are dimming and each breath is more strained than the last. if he wasn’t surrounded by the only people in the world to truly love him right, he would have fallen long ago.

bellamy nods, eyes sullen, then claps a hand on his shoulder. “you’re not worthless, murphy,” he whispers. fresh tears fall on the snow. 

“i...i know that, now.”

“i’m sorry. for everything. then, and now.”

“you don’t have to be.”

“i am.”

his knees shake, but he stares bellamy in the eye. “whatever the hell we want, right?.”

a dry, croak of a laugh sounds from the older man before he nods and raises a fist towards the sky. wordlessly, he steps away.

echo comes forward to give him an embrace, an unusual move for her. “thank you,” she says, “the ancestors will honour you in the afterlife.” and he doesn’t believe in what she believes in, but the sentiment is untarnished.

“don’t think i didn’t realize you stole my bandana,” emori says quietly, giving him a gentle hug as well. she moves onto her tiptoes and kisses his cheek, smiling softly. 

“i-”

“you can keep it.”

and then there’s raven, who punches his arm and then hugs him, leaning into his neck. “if you don’t survive this, i’ll be really disappointed.”

“cockroach.”

“yeah, yeah, the raven, i know.” she pauses to wipe a tear away before taking the massive gun from shaw so she can hand it over. “fire it like normal,” she says, “you’ll only get two shots at the most, but it shouldn’t matter.”

he nods and takes the gun. the added weight causes his knees to shake and he stumbles, noticing the true bite of the chilly air for the first time.

bellamy catches him and helps him to stand steady. his hand adds a certain comfort to the situation. their eyes meet and it feels like he’s seventeen years old again, a kid, looking into the eyes of the man who made him feel  _ wanted _ for the first time.

just like when he was seventeen, their lips lock and their eyes close, and all that he knows is bellamy is here with him.

when they separate, they don’t speak. instead, murphy steadies his resolve and walks straight into the valley. the corners of his vision grow fuzzy and his pace slows, but on he marches.

“mccreary!” he yells, as loud as his broken body will allow. on cue, the man appears, a confident but puzzled look on his face. this wasn’t part of diyoza’s plan, and he doesn’t know how to react.

“i have something for you.”

“you’ve come to return something of mine?” mccreary calls back, striding towards murphy to close the distance between them. “or to surrender?”

_ i’m supposed to be here.  _

_ i know what i’m doing. _

_ i was meant to end up this way. _

emori’s bandana curls around his hand as he lifts the gun with steady hands. “whatever the hell we want,  _ bitch _ .”

he presses the trigger twice, to be sure, and watches the blast hit mccreary in the chest and explode outwards in every direction.

murphy’s lifted off the ground. he flies backwards through the air and then hits the ground, hard, and then there’s not much of anything after that. flames burn all around him as his eyes slip shut and his grip on the cloth loosens. he’s no angel, but fire has always been his wings. 

murphy’s one of the first to go down, but he’s also the last.

**Author's Note:**

> oops sorry
> 
> also ik i did monty & harper dirty but i honestly forgot they'd be there to until i finished this and it was too late to retcon


End file.
